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Bog Standard

Restroom comedy has traditionally served as the reliable retreat in everyday journalism, and writers stay alert to significant toilet tales and milestones, particularly within football. It was quite amusing to discover that an online journalist a well-known presenter has a West Brom-themed urinal within his residence. Consider the situation for the Barnsley fan who took the rest room rather too directly, and had to be saved from the vacant Barnsley ground following dozing off in the toilet at half-time during a 2015 defeat by Fleetwood. “He was barefoot and couldn't find his phone and his cap,” stated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And who can forget during his peak popularity at Manchester City, the controversial forward entered a community college to use the facilities in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then entered and inquired the location of the toilets, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” an undergraduate shared with a Manchester newspaper. “Later he simply strolled around the college grounds acting like the owner.”

The Lavatory Departure

Tuesday represents 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit as England manager after a brief chat in a toilet cubicle together with Football Association official David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, after the notorious 1-0 loss by Germany in 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the famous old stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, FA Confidential, he entered the drenched beleaguered England dressing room directly following the fixture, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams motivated, both players begging for the official to reason with Keegan. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a blank expression, and Davies found him slumped – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the dressing room corner, whispering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies worked frantically to rescue the scenario.

“What place could we identify for confidential discussion?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Just a single choice remained. The lavatory booths. A significant event in English football's extensive history occurred in the ancient loos of an arena marked for removal. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I shut the door behind us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I cannot inspire the squad. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Consequences

And so, Keegan resigned, later admitting that he had found his period as Three Lions boss “soulless”. The two-time European Footballer of the Year stated: “I struggled to occupy my time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It’s a very difficult job.” The English game has progressed significantly during the last 25 years. Regardless of improvement or decline, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers have long disappeared, although a German now works in the technical area Keegan previously used. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

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Quote of the Day

“There we stood in a long row, in just our underwear. We were Europe’s best referees, premier athletes, inspirations, adults, parents, strong personalities with strong principles … however all remained silent. We barely looked at each other, our looks wavered slightly nervously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with an ice-cold gaze. Quiet and watchful” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures officials were once put through by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“How important is a name? There exists a Dr Seuss poem titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to take care of the first team. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and awarded some merch, I've opted to write and make a pithy comment. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts on the school grounds with children he expected would overpower him. This self-punishing inclination must explain his option to move to Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|