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Encountering rejection, notably when it occurs frequently, is anything but enjoyable. Someone is declining your work, giving a clear “Nope.” Working in writing, I am no stranger to rejection. I started pitching articles 50 years back, right after college graduation. Over the years, I have had two novels rejected, along with book ideas and many essays. In the last two decades, specializing in commentary, the rejections have multiplied. On average, I get a setback frequently—adding up to in excess of 100 times a year. In total, denials in my profession run into thousands. At this point, I could claim a PhD in rejection.

But, does this seem like a self-pitying rant? Far from it. As, finally, at 73 years old, I have come to terms with being turned down.

In What Way Did I Achieve It?

A bit of background: At this point, just about each individual and their distant cousin has rejected me. I’ve never tracked my success rate—doing so would be quite demoralizing.

For example: recently, a newspaper editor rejected 20 submissions one after another before approving one. Back in 2016, over 50 publishing houses rejected my memoir proposal before someone approved it. A few years later, 25 representatives declined a nonfiction book proposal. One editor even asked that I submit articles less frequently.

The Steps of Setback

When I was younger, each denial stung. It felt like a personal affront. It seemed like my work was being turned down, but me as a person.

Right after a manuscript was rejected, I would begin the process of setback:

• Initially, shock. What went wrong? How could they be overlook my skill?
• Next, denial. Maybe they rejected the incorrect submission? This must be an mistake.
• Then, dismissal. What do any of you know? Who made you to decide on my efforts? They’re foolish and their outlet stinks. I refuse this refusal.
• Fourth, irritation at those who rejected me, followed by frustration with me. Why do I do this to myself? Am I a glutton for punishment?
• Fifth, pleading (preferably accompanied by false hope). What will it take you to see me as a unique writer?
• Sixth, depression. I lack skill. Worse, I’ll never be successful.

I experienced this through my 30s, 40s and 50s.

Notable Company

Certainly, I was in excellent company. Accounts of authors whose manuscripts was originally rejected are numerous. Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick. The creator of Frankenstein. The writer of Dubliners. The novelist of Lolita. Joseph Heller’s Catch-22. Nearly each writer of repute was first rejected. Because they managed to succeed despite no’s, then maybe I could, too. The sports icon was dropped from his school team. The majority of American leaders over the recent history had previously lost campaigns. The filmmaker estimates that his Rocky screenplay and bid to appear were declined numerous times. He said rejection as a wake-up call to motivate me and keep moving, rather than retreat,” he stated.

The Seventh Stage

Later, upon arriving at my later years, I reached the last step of rejection. Understanding. Now, I more clearly see the multiple factors why an editor says no. For starters, an publisher may have just published a comparable article, or have something in progress, or simply be thinking about something along the same lines for someone else.

Alternatively, unfortunately, my submission is uninteresting. Or the evaluator feels I lack the credentials or reputation to be suitable. Or is no longer in the market for the work I am peddling. Maybe was busy and read my submission too quickly to appreciate its value.

Feel free call it an epiphany. Anything can be rejected, and for any reason, and there is virtually nothing you can do about it. Some reasons for denial are always beyond your control.

Within Control

Others are within it. Let’s face it, my proposals may sometimes be ill-conceived. They may lack relevance and appeal, or the point I am struggling to articulate is poorly presented. Or I’m being too similar. Or an aspect about my writing style, especially commas, was annoying.

The key is that, regardless of all my decades of effort and rejection, I have succeeded in being recognized. I’ve authored multiple works—the initial one when I was 51, the next, a personal story, at older—and more than numerous essays. Those pieces have been published in magazines large and small, in regional, worldwide outlets. My debut commentary appeared in my twenties—and I have now contributed to various outlets for half a century.

However, no major hits, no book signings at major stores, no appearances on TV programs, no presentations, no honors, no big awards, no international recognition, and no national honor. But I can more readily handle no at my age, because my, admittedly modest successes have eased the stings of my many rejections. I can choose to be thoughtful about it all today.

Instructive Setbacks

Setback can be educational, but when you pay attention to what it’s attempting to show. If not, you will almost certainly just keep taking rejection the wrong way. What teachings have I gained?

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